I am superficial

I am in a non relationship relationship. As if this weren't bad enough I get the feeling that I am about to be dumped. Sure the question is, can you actuallly be dumped when it is not really a relationship? At least not acknowledged as one. Yes you can. This is the new low that I have sunk to. So in response to this pending dumping and given that there really wasn't a relationship officially to begin with, I have decided to try to force myself to date. There is a faint voice in my head that says maybe you will actually find someone that wants you. I haven't completely given up, but really maybe I should. It is really difficult dating. I work in a female dominated profession. The few men that I work with are gay or married. Most of my friends are married or in real relationships and don't want to be out and about trying to find men, if there actaully were any to find. I have joined things I am interested in. Again female dominated and gay men. Who knew it would be this hard. I have even tried internet dating. This is either a brilliant tool for people to connect or it is a gathering spot for pathetic pitiful losers like myself who can't seem to do what most people can do. Not only that, internet dating brings you face to face with your own superficiality. Looking at the photos of these men you start to see how shallow you really are. I try to excuse my superficiality (Is this even a word? Sounds like something Bush would come up with) by blaming the men for lying in their adds. I have actually caught myself saying things like this out loud to the computer screen," there is no way you are forty five, sure you work out five times a week and you have got to be kidding me.". If these adds, as I call them, were true then there should be thousands of single, fit, tall, attractive men strolling along the beach who have just finished cooking gourmet meals after spending a day at a job they love and get paid loads of money for. The sad thing is I am sure they are all thinking the same thing about me when they see my add. It's awful. And I haven't even got to the contact stage. Do you put yourself through this in the rare hope of actually finding someone or do you just give up? Is there really any point to even trying?