Instant Dislike

Have you ever taken an instant dislike to someone? Someone who hasn't done anything bad to you or anyone else, but for some reason you just can't stand them? The dislike comes quickly, almost immediately. Rather than waning as you get to know the person, it grows in strength.

I had an instant dislike to one of my co-workers. He's never done anything to me worthy of such disdain. In fact he probably senses that I can't stand him and tries to ingratiate himself to me. This only serves to make me despise him more. I have tried really hard not to let my dislike show. I have tried to find things that are likable about him, but I can't find any. The opposite has happened. My tolerance of him is shrinking. Things he used to do that I was indifferent about, now totally annoy me. It's like a force beyond my control is compelling me to dislike this guy.

I have found that since my dislike for him has been almost instant, whenever he does something I dislike I say to myself, see that's why you can't stand him. Maybe I look for them. But there are so many, it's like he can't stop doing things that irk me. I also go out of my way to note clever or amusing things he does.

I feel guilty for disliking him. What does it say about me that without reason,I can't stand someone? My sister, who is a little on the new age side, said that if you dislike someone for no good reason, then it is because there is something about him that reminds you of what you dislike about your self, in your shadow. Perhaps they reflect parts of you that you don't acknowledge, embrace or reject.

Could this be true? I thought about the things about him I don't like. He's lazy, he pawns his work off on everyone (he actually has done this to me), he's a slow talker, he constantly uses superfluous words like "with respect to" and "in regards of," he summarizes when unnecessary, his jokes aren't funny, he does the bare minimum in his work and doesn't show any creativity or initiative and he wears a ponytail. If these are qualities I have, then I have suppressed these parts of myself, because I can't stand them. Do I despise him because he embodies those parts of myself that I reject and don't give myself permission to surface? Do I dislike him because he allows himself to be a way that I try very hard not to be?

Could it be that sometimes you just don't like people for the same reason that you don't like all foods. Perhaps the expectation that you must like everyone isn't reasonable. I don't wish him ill, although I do admit to some schadenfreude when his manager chews him out at meetings for his ineptitude. Yes, everyone is beautiful in their own way...plus who am I to cast judgements? Everyone has redeeming qualities and worth. Everyone has a right to be who they are. Does that mean you have to like them?

Maybe I am arrogant and judgemental. But I just don't like him.

Vile Duets

My co worker and I try to break up the day by coming up with horrible songs. I pride myself on being able to come up with really pretty disgustingly, bad songs, but he somehow always can top me. His knowledge of bad songs from the 70's is outstanding. Having said that, I would have to say that I soundly defeated him at horrible Billy Joel songs. But he came back and took the Wilson Phillips contest. This ongoing amusement we have includes singing these horrible songs, looking up lyrics and sometimes youtubing them. It is always accompanied with groans of disgust and laughter. These songs then become brain worms that stay in your head all day like some sort of time share tumour. I have to say it really does make the day go by faster, even if it sounds like something you would see on The Office.

Here is our list of Vile Duets. Be prepared to get sick.
In no particular order of Vileness:

1. Crusin', Huey Lewis and Gwenyth Paltrow. I can't stand him, but she really ruins the song. I feel nauseous just remembering in my head.

2. Endless Love, Diana Ross and Lionel Ritchie. He is responsible for a lot of horrible songs. And Madame Ross has a few other horrible duets under her belt. Remember that terrible one, All of You, with Julio Iglesias?

3. Tell Him, Celine Dion and Barbra Streisand. That one just makes me shudder. It is enough to put me in the hospital.

4. Should Have Never Let You Go. Neil Sedaka and Dara Sedaka. As if the song weren't bad enough on its own, this is a father and daughter duet! It is so gross that they are singing a romantic love song together. It is vile and just plain wrong!

5. I Finally Found Someone, Bryan Adams and Barbra Streisand. Babs makes several well earned appearances on the list.

6. After All, Cher and Peter Cetera. Who thought up this pairing? They must have been high.

7. Almost Paradise, Nancy Wilson and Mike Reno. This is an all Canadian barf fest.

8. The Girl is Mine & Say Say Say, Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney. You can't mention the one retched song without mentioning the other.

9. Ebony and Ivory, Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney. This song is supposed to promote harmony , but it just makes me want to hurt both of them.

10. Can't We Try, Dan Hill and Vonda Sheppard. Thank God Ally McBeal isn't on anymore.

11. When You Believe, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey. Yuck, yuck, yucky and yuck.

12. 'Til I Loved You, Barbra Streisand and Don Johnson. Yeah, they were in a relationship and they sang together. Just because you are screwing each other, doesn't mean you have to sing together!!!

13. Friends and Lovers, Gloria Loring and Carl Anderson. What I love about this song is that my co worker's brother played it as the first dance at his wedding. The song is all about cheating! So totally inappropriate for a wedding. Has anyone else been at a wedding when the first dance song was totally inappropriate? Please tell!

Got any others? I am sure there are more...